Money questions to ask before you say "I Do."

I'm sure you'd agree that there are plenty of things in coupled life to disagree about without adding money to the mix.

Ask these questions before you get hitched.

Still, disagreements about money are one of the top causes of divorce in this country.  So in the name of matrimonial money harmony, I've pulled together some of my favorite money discussions to have with your partner before you go around buying jewelry and putting down a deposit on a reception venue.

Love Me, Love My Money

How an independent girl found herself married … with a joint bank account.

It’s hard enough to figure out how we want to handle our money when it’s just us who is handling it.  But throw a romantic partner into the equation and the question of how to spend/share/save gets even more confusing.

I know at least as many variations on finances in coupledom as there are variations in couples.  So when I coupled up myself I had a lot of examples to use to research ways to deal with money when you’re in love. 

Learning From Other People's Financial Regrets

The Internet is a fantastic place for people who love lists. You can find lists of the 100 best books ever written, the 100 worst movies since movies began, and a list of nearly every piece of clothing Kate Middleton has ever worn.  The most recent list to draw me in was "35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35."  It was written by business executive Hemal Jhaveri, who is, as the title suggests, a few months from her birthday.  

I've never met Ms. Jhaveri, but I could relate to some of the things on her list, like how she still gets wistful over a missed loved connection here or there, over not having traveled the world and the fact that she didn't have a band or go to enough rock shows. I feel her pain.

But what really caught my attention was that a full 20% of her regrets have to do with money. 

The Best Financial Advice I’ve Ever Gotten

The best financial advice I’ve ever gotten wasn’t about how to earn, save or invest money. It wasn’t some hugely frustrating story about how if I give up my daily coffee I can be a millionaire by the time I’m 50 (that one still irritates me, and I’m not even a coffee drinker).  And it didn’t require me to get advice from some fancy and expensive financial advisor.

The best financial advice I’ve ever gotten was this:

A Spending Plan - The Un-Budget

Not my favorite kind of pie.

I hate budgets.  They're just so . . . limiting.

I’d like tell you I never use a budget. But I guess that wouldn’t be completely true since the point of a budget is to help you keep track of the money flowing in and out of your pocket/bank account/Kate Spade wallet, and I do have a way of doing that.  

And since I didn’t always have a good sense of my spending I had to experiment with different methods before I found one that worked for me. So, technically, I suppose I do have a budget.  But I still hate budgets so I don’t call it that.  Instead, I call it a spending strategy because spending is more fun than budgeting and strategies are empowering.  

Here's how you can set up your own budget spending strategy in eight easy steps.

2013 Money Resolution #1: Find New Homes for My Orphaned 401k Accounts - Part 2

In last week's episode I confessed to you all that I had been letting my 401k money run away from me.  So I vowed to find it, gather it up, and put it where I could keep a closer eye on it.  That last post was all about how I planned to go about finding my orphaned accounts and getting ready to roll the money into a consolidated investment.

Rolling over a 401k usually means removing your money from one financial institution and depositing it in another. That means you have to make a decision about who you're going to have holding your money in the future. When it comes to banks, brokers, large financial institutions, etc., you have A LOT of choices.

It can be overwhelming.

When it Comes to your Career, it's OK to Date Around

A Love Story - Just in Time for Valentine's Day

Most of us have a story about a guy/gal who was almost The One, but who ultimately wasn't.

Here's mine:

Compound Interest Really is the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Gather 'round  y'all, this is gonna be exciting.

I mean, insofar as math can ever be exciting. 

So here goes . . . I'm gonna introduce you to my favorite financial discovery EVER:

2013 Money Resolution #1: Find New Homes for My Orphaned 401k Accounts - a series

This month I finally dove into financial a project I had been putting off for too long:  I'm tracking down and rolling over the 401ks from my old jobs.

I know, I know . . .  yawn.  But wait!  Don't click away just yet!

Wherever there are stories of procrastination, attempts at making good on New Year's resolutions, and retirement planning (Retirement?  Ha! Hahahahahah!!!), something  worthwhile is bound to happen.


And in today's post, that something is all about compound interest and long hold investments. These are big, empowering and essential topics that are the bedrock of savvy investing, especially for young adults.

A source of income you might be ignoring

If you're a homeowner, your biggest asset can earn you serious cash.

This post is inspired by a friend of mine who is currently slogging through multiple rounds of interviews for an almost dream job.  Why the almost part?  It will require her to take a pay cut.  A big one. 

Taking a pay cut can be scary.  But I’d venture to say that a great job could be worth it.  

Experts' Top 5 Career Regrets

Every once in a while the things other people say can help us set a road map for our own lives. We just have to know how to listen. 

Recently, the Harvard Business Review blog posted blurbs from five professionals - an investment banker, a photographer, a millionaire entrepreneur and a Fortune 500 CEO - about their biggest professional regrets. 

This is what they said:

Worth it . . . or not?

Indulgences can be oh-so-worth it, or a total bust. 

I admit, I'm a splurger.

I'm generally pretty balanced when it comes to spending my cash, but every once in a while I just get a hankering to buy things.

Sometimes the mood is so strong I tell myself I should just to plan ahead then blow an entire paycheck all at once. How much fun would that be?!?!

Is it Possible to be too Hardworking?

Why we keep working at jobs that are unsatisfying. 

For as long as I can remember I’ve gotten through tough times in life by putting my head down and, as my dad would say, “gutting it out.”  

I’d continue to go to a class even if I didn’t like the teacher or the subject because at some point the semester would end and it would all be over. 

I lived in a crappy apartment that my roommate had chosen because it was only a 1 year lease and if I could get through that year we could move into somewhere without upstairs neighbors who vacuumed at 2 in the morning . . . and with windows.  

I’ll even occasionally log one more painful mile jogging up a hill because eventually I’ll reach the top and that will end also. 

This was my own brand of Scarlett O'Hara optimism.  A sort of “tomorrow is another day,” philosophy that I thought was at least a little virtuous.  But recently I’ve started thinking this strategy might fail me when it comes to my career. 

Why hello there . . . and welcome!

Hi friends.  Welcome to my blog! 

I've spend a few months writing posts and exploring what it feels like to put my thoughts into words.  But I realized I haven't yet introduced myself or explained what I'm doing here.  So, about that . . . 

Don't Listen to the Career Services Department if They're Giving you Crappy Advice

Go straight to the source with an informational interview.

Who should you ask? (source)

Because even the most well-intentioned people can lead us astray, it is important to be thorough in your research – career-related and otherwise.

Take, for example, my friend Carl*.

In college, Carl decided he was interested in a career in computer forensics and investigating cyber crime.  So Carl followed conventional wisdom and visited his school’s Career Services Office. It turned out to be the wrong decision.

Being Brave Feels a Lot Like Being Scared

There are a lot of things to aspire to in this world. The words aspiration and ambition are everywhere.  Somehow, during the early years of our adult lives, we are most vulnerable to the sense that we should all be striving for something bigger, better, faster, brighter . .  more.  But what exactly is that?

Scary can be courageous.  (source)

 It’s no secret that, now more than ever, one of the keys to success is to have hustle. By now we've all discovered that we have to figure out what we want and pursue it aggressively.  But you barely have to type the words “how to choose a career” into a Google search (which turns up about 1.4 trillion results in less than half a second, by the way) to find scores of advisors who say the ticket to professional happiness is simply to discover what you’re passionate about and then do that.  

Yet the relentless pursuit of passion is about as useful as a butter knife in a sword fight if you don’t know what your passion is.  And not surprisingly, there are few employers willing to pay a living wage for someone to devote their professional energies to self-discovery – although if you know of one, please share.

So I think it's time to free ourselves from the concept of passion and embrace another concept: bravery.  

Think About Your Money Like a Millionaire

On MSN Money this morning I came across an interview with Steve Siebold, who has spent nearly 30 years interviewing the world’s wealthiest people, and is the author of “How Rich People Think.”  

What is your freedom?

One of the things Siebold talked about was what his research has identified as a shared characteristic among self-made millionaires: 

“A prevailing trait among the wealthy people . .. is that they have a '“really positive relationship with money. They think about money in terms of freedom, as opposed to the negative relationship a lot of people have with money.'"

Let’s look at that again: wealthy people think about money in terms of freedom.

Invest your money - just not in shoes

On a whim - and a break from looking at holiday cookie recipes - today I searched for the word “Invest” on Pinterest.  One of the pins that popped up was a picture of a pair of Chanel ballet flats with the caption “if you’re looking to invest in a classic.”   

I promise you that I love shoes as much as the next gal, and I can amortize each wear of a $200 pair of jeans in about 8 seconds.  Even so, the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw that pin was: Chanel ballet flats are so NOT an investment.

A sound investment?

More precisely, shoes are not an investment.  Everyone remembers our fictional soul mate Carrie Bradshaw.  She spent nearly $40,000 on shoes, and ended up having to ask Mr. Big for the down payment on her apartment when her building went co-op.  

Carrie may not have ended up using the money Big gave her, but still . . . That! Right there! That’s the thing we're trying to avoid.

A Good Job is Not the Same as a Good Career

Whether or not you're happy with your current gig may have a lot to do with whether you view it as just a job or as a career.  That is because the qualifying components for good careers are wildly different than for good jobs.

I once spent months in a position where I could think of nothing but getting out and where my discomfort with the position actually manifested itself into physical pain.   The cause of my intense dissatisfaction, I now realize, was that I viewed the gig not just as a job, but as part of a career I thought I was building (obviously, not the right career). 

But the identifying characteristics of a good career are wildly different than for a good job.

Professionals who are unchained . . . from the desk

For years, I have had a desk job.  Had I thought about it, I would have realized that I would prefer not to be sitting down 8, 10, or 12 or more hours of the day.   It must have been that I just figured most "good" jobs were desk jobs and that, statistically, I would wind up among the sitting.

I settled into my early professional life as a desk jockey without much resistance. Then, I started noticing all the professionals who work not only with their minds but with their entire bodies. Oh, the luxury to move!

For those of you who are just starting out in your careers, are looking for a change, or who simply daydream about an occupation where your tailbone doesn't ache from the sitting, after the jump is a list of jobs to get you out from behind a desk.