How to Succeed in College in Seven Easy Steps

This time of year my otherwise normal city is overrun with 70,000 college students. Between now and Labor Day thousands of people in UHauls descend upon us and unpack acres of suitcases and Swedish furniture. This is what my street looked like last year, lined with SUVs and moving vans:

Watching the mad rush makes me think about college.  I remember that the internet was still new when I went away to school; it was years before anyone had an iPod or had heard of Google.  Which makes me realize that I am now old.  And then I start to think about how time flies and how it all seems like yesterday, and I come dangerously close to binge buying overpriced exfoliating creams and Ellen Tracy clothes but I'm still in my early 30s so I gather myself and make it stop. 

My youngest cousin is among those starting college this week, and I'm finding it hard to resist the urge to indulge in a little bit of the "if I knew then what I know now" brand of reminiscing.  So for her, and everyone else headed to campus this fall, here is some important and enduring advice that would have served me well, had I paid attention: 

1. I get that you love Shakespeare, we all love Shakespeare.  But for the love of g*d take an economics class, maybe even two.  
2. Start finding ways to look great on paper.  No matter how awesome you are in person, looking great on paper is what gets you admission to grad school, the interview you want and/or the loan you need to pay for it all.   
3. Don't sign up for the credit card just because they give you a free t-shirt.
4. Seek out and sign up for opportunities to travel, volunteer, build something, meet people, explore industries or connect with your fellow humans.  Leave your home, your state or the country.  Take a semester off of school to do it if you have to.  Studying abroad in England in hopes of meeting and marrying either Prince Harry or Pippa Middleton may be acceptable as long as your trip also includes one or more of the other listed activities.   
5. Try not to eat ice cream every night, or every other night.
6. Devote energy to the nerdy kids, the curious kids and the hard workers. They are the people who will change the world.
7. Get a lock for your bedroom door. At one point or another your roommates will probably allow their drunk friends to pass out on your couch and odds are better than even that those drunk friends will wake up in the middle of the night and mistake your room for the bathroom.  Plan accordingly.

I promise you this can change your life.  Ok, the last one might not actually change your life, but it will keep your closet from getting mistaken for a toilet.  So there's that.

If you have additions to my list, feel free to jot them in the comments.  I'm sure the hundreds moving into my neighborhood would love to hear it.  And they'll totally listen.  I swear.