Dear Office Chair Model B4061,
I realize neither of us wanted it to come this far. I don’t doubt that at 6:45 on Tuesday
morning you would have been happy not to have awoken to me booting up my
computer and proceeding to sit, squirm, perch, and recline on you with little
reprieve until well after sundown. And please believe me when I say that when I
finally left your company at around 10 pm on Wednesday night I was not sorry to
see you go. But considering that
you and I have spent no fewer than12 hours a day in direct contact with each
other for the past week, I think it is time to have The Talk.